A Personal Journey: What to Expect In the Final Days of Life

By: VGFS
Sunday, February 10, 2019

Many people wonder if they will recognize that a loved one is dying.

Each person’s journey to death is unique and nothing is set in stone. Some people fade quickly while others experience a gradual decline. There are many paths one can take on this journey but they all lead to the same destination. Knowing what to expect and how to respond in ways that will help your loved one will allow him or her to accomplish this final stage of life in the best way possible.

 

 

 

 

 

Physically, the body begins the final process of shutting down through a series of progressive changes that include:

  • Increased sleeping: Due to changes in body metabolism, your loved one may spend more time sleeping and may be difficult to rouse in the final days of life. Speak to him or her directly as you normally would, in a soft tone, even though there may be no response. Never assume the person cannot hear, as hearing is the last of the senses to be lost.
  • Reduced intake of food and drink: The person may have a decrease in appetite and thirst, as the body begins to conserve the energy it expends. Do not try to force food or drink, as it will only add to his or her discomfort.
  • Coolness: The hands and arms, feet and then legs may be increasingly cool to the touch and the color of the skin may look more pale or purplish. This indicates that blood circulation is decreasing and is being reserved for the most vital organs.
  • Disorientation: The person may seem to be confused about the time, place and identity of the people surrounding him or her, including family members and other familiar people. This is also due in part to the metabolism changes.
  • Breathing pattern changes: You may notice a different, irregular breathing pace. A particular pattern of shallow breaths followed by periods of not breathing for up to a full minute, known as Cheyne-Stokes breathing, is not uncommon. You may also see periods of rapid, shallow breathing that’s similar to panting. These common patterns indicate a decrease in circulation in the internal organs. Elevating the head and turning the person onto his or her side may bring comfort.
  • Restlessness: The dying person may make agitated and repetitive motions such as pulling at bed linens, IVs or clothing. This common occurrence is again due to the decrease in oxygen circulation to the brain. Don’t try to restrain these motions. To have a calming effect, speak in a quiet, soothing way. Other things which may be helpful are recalling fond memories and favorite places, reading something comforting, playing music or lightly massaging the forehead.

Emotionally, the spirit of the one who is dying begins the final process of release from the body and its environment. This emotional release follows its own priorities, which may include the resolution of any unfinished business and the family’s permission to ‘let go’. The most appropriate kinds of responses to these emotional-spiritual changes are those that support and encourage this release. You may encounter:

  • Withdrawal: Your loved one may seem unresponsive or in a comatose-like state. This indicates preparation for release, a detaching from surroundings and relationships, and the beginning of letting go.
  • Visions: The person may speak or claim to have spoken to persons who have already died. He or she is beginning to detach from this life and is preparing for death, so it will not be so frightening. Do not contradict, belittle or argue about what your love one claims to have seen or heard.
  • Decreased socialization: In the final hours or days, the person may only want to be with a very few or just one individual. This indicates from whom support is most needed in order to prepare for death. If you are part of the final inner circle of support, the person needs your affirmation and permission to leave.

When the person is ready to pass and you are able to let go, it’s time to say goodbye. Saying goodbye is your final gift of love, as it achieves closure and makes the final release possible. It may be as simple as saying I love you. Or it may include recounting favorite memories, places and activities you shared. Like the dying process, saying goodbye is also a very personal experience. It’s important to keep in mind that there’s no right or wrong way to go about it.

Do you need more information or additional help? Families, friends and caregivers of someone who is dying can turn to the Family Caregiver Alliance and the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization for support. Our caring, compassionate funeral directors are always happy to assist you, as well. We invite you to reach out to us anytime.

About Vaughn Greene Funeral Services: For more than 20 years, Vaughn Greene Funeral Services has been providing a ministry of care to Baltimore’s African American community. As a leading local, minority- and family-owned provider, we promise to provide our highest level of service and respect to families who entrust us to honor their loved one. For more information, please call us at 410.655.0015 or visit us online at https://vaughncgreene.com/.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Saying Goodbye: Six Things to Know and Do When a Loved One is Passing Away

Saying goodbye to a loved one passing away is undeniably hard, but your reassurance can help you both find peace. While final farewells are never easy, there are things you can do to ease the pain...

What Should You Do with Your Departed Loved One's Belongings?

When you are bereaved, sorting through your loved one’s belongings can be especially challenging. Losing a beloved family member or friend is one of life’s most difficult trials. There are many de...

Mental Health Stigma in the Black Community, How Far Have We Come?

The US Department of Health & Human Services reports that African American adults are 20 percent more likely to report serious mental health distress than their white adult counterparts. Wit...

It’s Stroke Awareness Month. Here are Seven Important Facts Everyone Should Know.

May is National Stroke Awareness Month, so it’s the perfect time to learn about this leading cause of death and disability in America. Strokes or brain attacks are quite common, affecting an estim...

Can’t Sleep at Night? Here are Seven Surprising Reasons Why

When you can’t sleep, everything feels like a struggle. If your slumber is lacking, the reasons behind it might surprise you. Sleep deprivation can cause a range of problems, ranging from mild irr...

Senior Home Safety: Seven Essential Things to Know

Today, one in six Americans is age 65 or older. By the year 2050, the U.S. senior population is expected to rise from 48 million to an astonishing 88 million. Worldwide, those aged 80 and above are...

Seasonal Depression, also known as Winter Blues: Is it Just Depression?

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a form of depression also known as seasonal depression or winter depression.   People with SAD experience mood changes and symptoms similar to depressi...

Six Inspiring Outdoor Memorial Ideas to Honor Your Departed Loved One

From simple stones to elaborate gardens, there is no shortage of meaningful outdoor memorial ideas to pay tribute to a loved one who has passed on. When you’re deeply grieved, finding a unique way...

How Much Do You Know About Multiple Sclerosis? Seven Important Facts About this Neurological Disease

March is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month. Learn about the neurological disease that affects one person every hour in the U.S. A neurological disease that disrupts the flow of information betwee...

Legally Scattering Ashes: Keep These Six Important Facts in Mind

Legally scattering ashes isn’t complicated but it does require some research and planning. The scattering of a loved one’s ashes can bring peace and closure to surviving family members. For many, ...