Accepting the Loss of a Loved One

By: Vaughn Greene Funeral Services
Sunday, October 1, 2017

Losing a loved one can be a highly charged and traumatic time. Coping with the loss is a deeply personal but there are some universal elements to the bereavement process. Understanding these facets can help you to work through your grief and eventually come to acceptance.

Allow your feelings. The loss of a loved one brings up almost every emotion imaginable. It's important to understand that there is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to your feelings about the passing of someone you dearly loved. Gently remind yourself that your feelings are yours, and you should feel no shame or guilt for them.


Don’t go it alone.  While there may be times when you'll want some alone time as you work through your loss, it's important to have a support group around you for those times when you feel especially sad, lonely, or vulnerable. Friends, family, a clergyperson, and perhaps a counselor, should all be accessed during your grief process. These individuals can be a tremendous source of emotional and physical support during your darkest hours.


Let yourself grieve. Bereavement and grief is a process. Everyone has his or her own way of coping with loss. You cannot put a time limit on your sorrow; you need to allow yourself to experience the stages of grief as they arise. In her famous book, On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross outlined five stages of grief:

  1. Denial: At first, you find it impossible to believe the loss of your loved one is real, and you may be numb from the experience.
  2. Anger: As the truth of the situation begins to take hold, it's normal to feel anger and rage. This anger may be directed at yourself, the loved one for leaving you, doctors for not healing your loved one, or even at God.
  3. Bargaining: The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control, such as, “If only we had sought medical attention sooner…” or “If only I had been better to them…”
  4. Depression: The overwhelming sadness you feel is normal, and in most cases, will not last forever. It's common to feel as if life will never be the same because it never will be.
  5. Acceptance: Ultimately, you will come to terms with the finality of your loss and move forward with your life.

Keep in mind that each the stages are not necessarily experienced in order and they may be revisited from time to time. As you process your grief, however, the pain of your loss will become more manageable.

Embrace the memories. It takes a while to adjust to the loss of a major pillar in your life, but in time, you will be able to move forward without your loved one by your side. Keep a special place in your heart so that you can always remember the good times and the love you shared.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Saying Goodbye: Six Things to Know and Do When a Loved One is Passing Away

Saying goodbye to a loved one passing away is undeniably hard, but your reassurance can help you both find peace. While final farewells are never easy, there are things you can do to ease the pain...

What Should You Do with Your Departed Loved One's Belongings?

When you are bereaved, sorting through your loved one’s belongings can be especially challenging. Losing a beloved family member or friend is one of life’s most difficult trials. There are many de...

Mental Health Stigma in the Black Community, How Far Have We Come?

The US Department of Health & Human Services reports that African American adults are 20 percent more likely to report serious mental health distress than their white adult counterparts. Wit...

It’s Stroke Awareness Month. Here are Seven Important Facts Everyone Should Know.

May is National Stroke Awareness Month, so it’s the perfect time to learn about this leading cause of death and disability in America. Strokes or brain attacks are quite common, affecting an estim...

Can’t Sleep at Night? Here are Seven Surprising Reasons Why

When you can’t sleep, everything feels like a struggle. If your slumber is lacking, the reasons behind it might surprise you. Sleep deprivation can cause a range of problems, ranging from mild irr...

Senior Home Safety: Seven Essential Things to Know

Today, one in six Americans is age 65 or older. By the year 2050, the U.S. senior population is expected to rise from 48 million to an astonishing 88 million. Worldwide, those aged 80 and above are...

Seasonal Depression, also known as Winter Blues: Is it Just Depression?

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a form of depression also known as seasonal depression or winter depression.   People with SAD experience mood changes and symptoms similar to depressi...

Six Inspiring Outdoor Memorial Ideas to Honor Your Departed Loved One

From simple stones to elaborate gardens, there is no shortage of meaningful outdoor memorial ideas to pay tribute to a loved one who has passed on. When you’re deeply grieved, finding a unique way...

How Much Do You Know About Multiple Sclerosis? Seven Important Facts About this Neurological Disease

March is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month. Learn about the neurological disease that affects one person every hour in the U.S. A neurological disease that disrupts the flow of information betwee...

Legally Scattering Ashes: Keep These Six Important Facts in Mind

Legally scattering ashes isn’t complicated but it does require some research and planning. The scattering of a loved one’s ashes can bring peace and closure to surviving family members. For many, ...